I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
