i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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