Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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