Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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