she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
