he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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