I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
