found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
