from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
