Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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