She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
