ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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