She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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