I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize