It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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