the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
