well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
