You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
