Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i think my cat just said my name.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
