That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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