you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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