once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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