I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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