wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
