dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
