If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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