Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
