I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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