you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
