He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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