u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
