it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Randomize
