I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
