Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize