Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
