she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
