i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
