This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize