I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
