She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
