And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
babies were throwing up all over the place
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Do vagina's smell?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize