His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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