Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
