Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize