so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
