Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
