Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
