wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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