Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
