Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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