paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
