So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
