There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
