I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
