does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Congratulations! We have a period
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