marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
