Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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