..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
