we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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