I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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