..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
