Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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