So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
